From Superwoman to Self-Care: You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

Let’s get real. You might have everything on paper—career, kids, a decent relationship, a social life that functions when needed. But inside, you’re running on fumes.

You’ve been so focused on keeping it all together that somewhere along the way, you forgot to ask the most important question: What do I want? Not the Pinterest-perfect version. Not what your parents hoped for. Not what your boss praises or your friends expect.

I’m talking about the kind of want that lives in your bones. That whispers in the shower. That shows up when you’re too tired to scroll.

When you ignore it? You get moody. Resentful. Snappy at the people you love. You don’t even know why you’re so irritated, but everything just feels... off.

Start here:

• What brings you joy?

• What lights you up?

• What do you miss about you?

  
  

This isn’t indulgence. It’s data. It’s direction.

Living on the Edge: Surviving a Super-Day as a Superwoman

She wakes up before the alarm. Yoga. Kids. Lunch boxes. Slack. A quick “you got this” in the mirror and she’s off. Meetings, emails, deadlines. Then school pickup, groceries, litter box, dinner, bedtime, Netflix-guilt spiral, pass out with mascara on.

She’s not burned out. She’s vaporized.

Sound familiar?

This isn’t every woman. But it’s many. And it’s across borders—I’ve seen it in Italy, Poland, Sweden. Different languages. Same invisible weight. We’re raised to be everything: Charming, competent, emotionally available, high-achieving, grounded, glowy. Superwoman status unlocked—until you crash.

Let’s give credit where it’s due: partners today are far more involved than a generation ago. But let’s not sugarcoat reality either. Even now, studies show women still carry twice the load when it comes to housework. We’re talking groceries, laundry, permission slips, mental checklists that never end. As sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild put it, we’re working a second shift—one at the office, and one at home. And no, the dishwasher doesn’t count as equality.

You Are Not Too Much. You Are Too Important to Ignore.

Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s leadership. It’s walking into a room and saying,“This is who I am. This is what I need.” And yeah, some people won’t like it. But you weren’t put on this earth to be universally approved. You were put here to live in truth.

So ask for help. Say no. Say yes to yourself.

Because being a strong woman doesn’t mean being a silent one. It means being a sovereign one—self-led, soft-spined, and soul-aligned.

Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.

- Brené Brown

Boundaries Aren’t Barriers. They’re Bridges.

I’ll be the first to admit it—I’ve betrayed my own boundaries more times than I can count. Said yes when I meant hell no. Carried the load without asking for help. Swallowed the resentment with a smile, then wondered why no one stepped in to lighten the weight.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of silent suffering.

You do the thing. You overgive. You overextend. And then you wonder why no one is meeting you halfway.

But here’s the truth: people can’t meet needs you’ve never spoken aloud.

Setting boundaries isn’t about building walls. It’s about drawing sacred lines that say: this is who I am, this is what I need, and this is what I will no longer tolerate.

As Brené Brown says:

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.

Read that again.

We’ve been conditioned to equate love with sacrifice, self-worth with people-pleasing, and strength with silent endurance. But that formula leads to one place: burnout, bitterness, and a quiet erosion of joy.

The truth is, it’s not entirely our fault. We’ve been shaped by cultures that reward selflessness and shame self-expression. But it is our responsibility to stop handing people a version of ourselves that’s slowly disappearing. You don’t owe anyone your exhaustion. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re spiritual hygiene. They keep your energy clean. Your relationships honest. Your nervous system safe. Start small. Say no without apologizing. Ask for what you need without overexplaining. Let silence follow your “no” without rushing in to fill it.

You don’t need permission to protect your peace. You just need practice.

And when you do? You make space for a life that feels like yours again.

Let's talk - book a free session with me